The Piano

Today I visited Clive Pinkham, a Piano Maker, at his home in Stoke Climsland. He is a well known and respected piano maker, and has been in the music business for many years. Walking into his home was like walking into "Piano Heaven."

The following image is a piano similar to the one I have bought.

With thanks to pinkhampianos.com for this image

As we spoke I discovered that he had been a concert pianist, but having tired of the lonely life it demanded, he decided that he would set up a music shop in the East of the country which was very successful. When this became too stressful, he moved with his family to Stoke Climsland, where he custom makes pianos for clients all over the world. He has a personable approach to his business, and after spending several welcoming hours with him, I chose a piano for myself.

I could not afford to buy a new one, and so I chose a previously owned piano. It had belonged to a Russian lady who was now moving abroad I think, or  into a smaller house where she could not fit the piano. It has the most beautiful sound and it will be the best piano I have ever had.

I wanted to treat myself to a well made piano that would last a long time, and would have the sound it is meant to have. I did this, not only for myself, but also for my mother and the memory of her that I carry with me every day.

My mother was a gifted pianist, but she had never had the opportunity to own a great piano. This has always been a regret for all of the family. If only ....we had been able to buy her a really good piano. But my belief is that she is always near me in spirit, and I think that she will be very happy to listen to me play as she did when she was alive.

The piano will bring with it a whole host of memories. I already have many, but I'm sure that when I place my fingers on the keys and begin to play familiar tunes, more will come flooding back.

This academic year, my projects have concentrated on linking the past with the present, on memory and objects of memory, the philosophy of the inner self in relation to family, nostalgia, and the study that the objects we keep and hold dear, are an influence on us and our lives. They may be objects of sentiment, but I feel that they are much more than this. In remembering past events and people, I think the object can teach us a lot about ourselves, why we remember and how we remember.

I was reading an article by Martin. A. Conway, "Memory and Desire," given to us in a contextual session about Freud and memory. I found this very interesting. The writer was remembering a time that to him felt as though it had no real consequence in his life. But reflecting on how he remembered it gave him an insight into why he remembered it. "memories can reveal more than a person might care to reveal. Freud in his chapter on screen memories (1901, Chapter 1V in the PEL), observed that these types of memories - low emotion, low meaning, and rather enigmatic - were often encountered in memories of childhood events, and in the very earliest memory." (Martin: 48)

Martin goes on to explain that when he reflects on this memory, he sees himself as though looking from a different perspective, from above himself. Freud reasons that at the time of the event when you are a child, you can not think of it in the same way as you do when you have grown into an adult. It makes sense that when you are older, your life experience, and one hopes, wisdom, will see more in the memory than what was there at the time.  Martin writes that the memory of sitting and reading a book at his desk no longer surprises him because now he sees that memory as a transition period in his life . Freud points out that one very clear implication is that the memory has been "worked over," has had the perspective added after the formation of the memory. (Martin: 54) Freud's view was that the knowledge memories bring to consciousness can often screen or hide knowledge closely related to fundamental goals or desires, this knowledge has the potential to cause intense destabilising emotions in the rememberer.(Martin: 54)

I wanted to emulate my mother's piano playing, but I simply was not as gifted as she, and I also didn't practise enough. I enjoyed being able to play, but I was not as passionate about music as she was. I have many memories of feeling sad that I could not quite live up to her expectations, even though I wanted too. Now, later in life, I know that my mother was an inspiration to me and I needed to feel passionate about something. I have now found my passion in learning and in the art that I create.